every friday in New York‘s dinner party NewsletterSenior writer Tirhakah Love plans a seating plan for the week’s main characters, asking us all to consider: Where would you sit?
This is a strange one, no doubt. There’s always a signature question for our weekly seating plan, and today it’s simple: Who’s got more to celebrate? Each table has a celebrant. Maggie Haberman is probably one of the first real journalists to appear here, and from the New York Times nothing less, but he has earned his place after playing in pubs like Politico with his new book on Trumpworld. Irritating the talking heads is always a win.
she sits next to aaron judgewho is without a doubt the MLB home run king, at least of the players currently in the league as baseball fans are getting quite contentious about his place in the pantheon of sluggers of all time. Now I’m not a die-hard or anything like that, but I know I’ll take Barry Bonds, steroids or no steroids, over just about any other cat in history. Still, 61 home runs is a lot of baseballs destroyed, so a couple of pints with the slugger would probably go on like hell. Black Oprah is a black Twitter joke, IYKYK. But all I have to say is that Caresha has a good shot; not necessarily as a billionaire talk show host, but definitely someone whose show sisters, fags, and birdies can sing along to. we love it
Across the street, Trevor Noah is celebrating seven years at the daily program cutting ties with the daily program. And she’s celebrating the cutting of ties with the daily program exchanging saliva with Dua Lipa, who can be seen here rolling her eyes from a few tables away. Congratulations are in order on both accounts, though I can’t tell you anything that happened during her career. Ryan Murphy’s grip on homosexuals appears to be loosening, as his recent show dahmer has rubbed blacks the wrong way. It’s fair to remember that this show also showcases queer and trans writers of color, but it doesn’t really cut out the unnecessary bloodshed, even if it tries to focus on its victims. It’s all too dark for a party like this. Ravyn Lenae, whose recent performance at the COLORS The show was pretty remarkable, you shouldn’t have to deal with this guy. Sorry, Raven.
Speaking of separations, however, shout out to Perry Greene, who emancipated himself from the clutches of Marjorie Taylor Greene, his election denying bozo wife.. After 27 years of marriage, having to clap the cheeks of a white supremacist must have been too much for him. Or maybe he agrees with the cause but got tired of hearing his harangues about Trump’s pre-eminence? That would be enough for anyone to jump into an ocean. You go, Perry.
The Queen of Denmark is here not because we have suddenly become monarchists, but because she actually cut her grandchildren of the whole royal lineage thing and said that they have to do something for themselves without the use of the crown. This isn’t exactly what we mean by redistributing wealth and power, but this shit is so funny because it definitely looks like she looked at Lizzie’s kids, then her own, and said: I will be condemned. Paramore released a new video, before a new album, before a new tour. So you can bet your butt that one of America’s greatest racial unifiers has all the goth girls exploding.
A little peek behind the curtain: I put in Freddie Gibbs and Brett Favre at the same table because I thought Gibbs would be the perfect person to help me beat up Favre. alleged fraud of like $8 million Mississippi’s welfare program will not go unnoticed. And while I wouldn’t be surprised if he is the scapegoat as that corrupt government continues to steal from its constituents, I’d love to see him go down. Or at least give him a beating.
But to be honest, I’d rather not fight this. dinner party I’m tired and I just want to shake my butt to celebrate someone else’s big wins. And that’s why Table 1, for the second week in a row, wins it.