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Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Jan 6 Stool Pigeon spends CPAC disguising himself in the jail cell he avoided by screeching

We’re paying limited attention this year to the Grand Guignol of ostrich fucking which is CPAC’s annual convention, because, well, imagine two ostriches fucking. I understand? Okay, now imagine two ostriches fucking on stage in front of thousands of conservatives as Donald Trump Jr. stands to the side sniffing like a jet engine through his cavernous sinuses as he complains that the Liberal-Marxist industrial complex -Black Lives Matter wants to cancel these patriotic ostriches who just want to fuck in peace because conservatives celebrate every act of ostrich sex by launching a transgender person off a giant catapult into the sun, and leftists want to take that god-given freedom away from them.

But we cannot let the entire conference pass without pointing out… whatever this is:

Yes indeed, apparently someone has created the CPAC version of a midway carnival with a mock prison cell and someone dressed in an orange jumpsuit and a red MAGA hat sitting and crying on it. This is supposed to represent the plight of all of the January 6 defendants who are being held pre-trial in the Washington DC jail.

If you have stayed away from the sewer that is the right-wing speech on January 6, first of all, Mazel Tov. If he has not, he knows of the martyrdom that has been meted out to the accused arrested in connection with that day. Supporters of these folks have dubbed them imprisoned freedom fighters, political prisoners, victims of the Biden “regime” and any other overly dramatic dialogue you probably last heard while binge-watching a Costa-Gavras movie marathon on the Criterion Channel.

The fun part, though? (Besides all that). The guy dressing up as an inmate in this CPAC exhibit is a real-life January 6 defendant named Brandon Straka, founder of the #WalkAway movement. straka pleaded guilty last September to a single charge of disturbing Congress and was sentenced to 90 days house arrest and three years probation. In exchange for this plea deal, he engaged in what has been described as “substantial cooperation” with prosecutors.

In other words, yes, the guy who plays an inmate locked up in jail on January 6 got out without serving any jail time in real life thanks to his willingness to cooperate with the federal military boots that are supposedly going after their comrades. troublemakers.

That criminal defendants in the United States are often held in appalling conditions for months or years before trial, and for much lesser crimes than looting the seat of the federal government while trying to prevent a duly elected president from taking power, does not it’s something we can do. I’ve been recognized by Straka, or by people like Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene, who have the power to do something to reform the criminal justice system. But that is hard, long and exhausting legislative work that does not invite you to participate. rap on camera with Tucker Carlson.

One final note: As Straka seeks a regional theater award for this political act of guerrilla drama, the judge who sentenced him was yelling at his attorney for comments the former actor recently made downplaying his actions on January 6:

But Friedrich, who was nominated for the federal job by former President Trump, was clearly frustrated when he drew on Straka’s recent public comments about his cooperation and plea bargain.

“To the extent that he is making claims that are inconsistent with what he told federal agents, he needs to understand that this is definitely not in his best interest,” Friedrich told Straka’s attorney, Bilal Essayli.

After all, it may not be too late for Straka to get some real-world experience serving his sentence.


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